THIS IS JUST TO SAY by William Carlos Williams

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

The apology is pretty lack luster. You totally get the feeling that the narrator is not sorry at all and knew damn well the plums were being saved. That is the one aspect that is consistent with the spoof versions - the false apology. Also, the broken poetry style is often used. Other than that, there doesn’t appear to be any rules. On This American Life, several cast members read their own variations. Some were long, some short, some funny and some quite dark. It’s on the Mistakes Were Made episode and I highly recommend listening to it. The poems are in the prologue so you wont have to wait long. It also happens to be the episode about freezing dead people, so it’s win win.

Anyway, I fell in love with the exercise and thought you guys might like to have a go at it too. So, today’s comic is my first attempt. I found it has the same addictive nature as writing haiku so I imagine this wont be the last time I use the concept on the comic. Hope you enjoy mine and have fun writing your own and sharing them here.

Here’s one variation I came across online that I made me smile:
by Kenneth Koch -

Last evening we went dancing and I broke your leg.
Forgive me. I was clumsy and
I wanted you here in the wards, where I am the doctor!

A quick bit of happy news before I leave you: We have more mannequin parts! Last Wednesday Macy’s in Tampa had their annual props sale. Unfortunately, we found out late in the day, so a lot of the real gems were snatched up, but we managed to leave there with one almost full mannequin (she’s without arms), a headless torso, two random arms with broken fingers and a hand. HoO! For now I’ll just share a photo of the sale grounds. We salivated the minute we entered the lot!

See you next week…

<3 calan

It’s funny how when things like that are at your fingertips you hardly ever use them.  Same thing happens when you live near a big deal tourist destination.  Ask some New Yorkers if they have ever been to the Statue of Liberty and you’ll see what I mean.  Here in Florida, it’s the same.  Many people I know moved here for the beaches and after a year or so, never find time to go.  It’s happened to me at times, too, but mostly I live life like I’m on vacation. 

I told you last week that I had some cool news but didn’t want to share it without photos.  Wow, now I feel like it’s such a build up to something you will just shrug at.  Anyway, it was exciting for us, so here goes.  Jim and I have been foaming at the mouth for mannequins. Yes, mannequins.  We have about, oh, i dont know, a BAZILLION ideas for an army of mannequins, but alas no mannequins.  Those things are a lot more expensive than you’d think and a heck of a lot harder to come by for free.  People just dont give them up that easily.  So, we’ve been scouring the internet and finally Jim posted on Freecycle (Yahoo group) and we got a torso!  With a head!  For Free! HooOO!

Here she is waiting outside for us to pick her up.  I was so scared someone would snatch her up before we arrived!

Here’s a pic of Jim driving her home.  She’s such a curious kitty!

While Jim drove, I snapped some pics.  I always wanted a sister!

We stopped at Starbucks on the way home and didn’t feel abandoning Betty in the car would be very nice.  (By now, we had named her.)  Besides funny looks and a few comments, one employee actually asked us to remove her from the counter because she was ‘creeping her out’.  Boo! Hiss! Betty didn’t let it ruffle her feathers.  Look how composed she is!  Doesn’t she look real chic in my jacket?

Other news:

I didn’t win the damn iMac in the SL Fashion Awards.  Double Boo!    Thanks to everyone that voted.

This evening a radio station in Sydney Australia interviewed me about Stendhal Syndrome because they came across my haiku comic and post.  I guess I’ll post a link to the broadcast when I have one.  Or not.  I’m not really big on talking and am sure I sounded like an idiot, so I might spare myself the embarrassment.

That’s all for now.  Have a super happy fun week.

<3 calan

I guess it isn’t quite as crazy as it sounds since while in the dream state you are not aware you are dreaming and thus experience things as if they were really happening.  Your mind seems to distinguish between reality and dream only after you have awoken, unless of course you are an avid lucid dreamer.  But, even then, studies have shown that the brain doesn’t necessarily know the difference between reality and dream.  In fact, lucid dreamers use the dream state to produce art, problem solve, hone skills, write, etc.  Even a physical act like karate, practiced in the dream state resulted in much improved skills in waking life.  Wow, right?

I can go on and on about lucid dreams.  They fascinate the hell out of me.  I will shut up though because it has nothing to do with this comic and I’m not sure why I’m rambling  about them.    If the subject interests you, check out Stephen LaBerge’s Lucidity Institute website.  There’s a ton of info on there or just get your hands on his books.  Easy to find online, in libraries, whatever.
In Second Life, I recently made some outfits based on the comic.  I used character art work and patterns directly from my webcomic to create the textures.  I thought you non-SLers might be interested in seeing what avatar threads look like so here you go:

For those of you that are in SL, here’s some personal news.  My store Nocturnal Threads has been nominated for the Best in Goth Label category at the Merovingi Fashion Awards.  It’s not something I was aware of, but somehow I got nominated and I think that’s pretty damn cool.  You can visit my store for a tp to go vote for me if you want.  If I win, I get a 20″ iMac.  Pretty cool, huh?  We are also trying to raise money for Doctors Without Borders and the American Cancer Society.  Designers made outfits which all proceeds will go to these charities.  I decided not to do anything fancy pants and did this silly outfit called Muffin Top. The t-shirt is a prototype to one I’m designing for real life.  Anyway, you can pick up this outfit at my main store in SL or at the Merovingi location when you go vote.

That’s about all.  I had some other cool news but it’s just not the same without the photos so I’ll save it for another time.  Since I ripped Edgar Allan Poe off to title this comic, I should leave you with his poem…
A Dream Within A Dream
-Edgar Allan Poe

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?

Still want something to do?  You can read about his mysterious death and come up with your own Edgar Allan Poe Death Theory.  Wee!

<3 Calan

A few night’s ago, around 12:30 am, Jim and I decided it would be a really great idea to go to this local cemetery I love and do some photography. There is a particular shot I needed of him that conveyed a ‘dig’ theme so we grabbed a shovel and headed out. Don’t worry, we weren’t going to dig anyone up or even remove a drop of soil. It simply seemed to be the best backdrop for what we had in mind.

Because we don’t have fancy battery powered lights and tend to do things ‘ghetto style’, lighting was an issue. We did, however, have a car and cars have headlights so it quickly became a non-issue. The lighting was so cool against the tombs, headstones and grass that we were completely enthralled and after we shot the potential website images we started shooting everything else. The car headlights proved to be an interesting light source. Even the blades of grass were fascinating lit in this fashion, particularly if you laid down and shot them in micro. Anyway, we had a blast and before we knew it, quite a lot of time had passed…like 2 hours or so. You see where this is heading, don’t you?

We packed up the car, piled in and turned the ignition key. Of course it wouldn’t engage seeing how we had just drained the battery of all life. The absurdity of having your car die in a cemetery wasn’t lost on us, nor was the potential fun of being stranded over night among the dead. I was seriously tickled and luckily Jim’s motto is ‘anything for adventure’ so we laughed and had a wonderful night ‘graveyard camping’.

It was only a little bit spooky tip toeing among headstones in search of a place to pee that wasn’t disrespectful of the decomposing folk resting there. It was just so dark and your eyes naturally wanted to play tricks on you. I definitely had a few brief moments of the heebie jeebies, but for the most part, my quickening heart rate was due to other events.

The view from the car window, lying back was of black sky and stars framed by Spanish moss lined branches. Really lovely. I remember thinking that if I were the sort of person to be freaked out by this situation, focusing on that sky would be the way to go. So that’s how this week’s comic was born.

As for zombies, have you noticed how popular they are? Are zombies the new black? Maybe it’s more like they are the new vampire. Vampires will always be popular, of course, but for a number of years they were all the rage. I credit Anne Rice’s books and films for making making the general public vampire obsessed. People like me were born that way. Seriously, every Halloween I wanted to be Dracula. My brother would make fun of me because Dracula was a man, but I didn’t give a damn, I just wanted the cape, fangs and fake blood. Anyway, I could go on and on about vampires and how their image has evolved but we were talking about zombies!

Okay, here’s some zombie related news. This week in Myrtle Beach, SC there was a zombie walk fundraiser to benefit the American Cancer Society. A number of cities in the US and UK have done this in the past and I think it’s great. What a totally fun way to raise money not to mention a totally achievable act for us slackers. I mean who can’t manage to slowly shuffle along undead style? It beats running in my book.

Here’s a great photo of the zombie walk:

If you are looking to waste some more time, you can always shoot zombies or learn your secret vampire name.

Mine came back as:

Last night was a Castle night which led to very little sleep, so I’m not too chatty tonight.  I’ll leave you with a link to the Coney Island Circus Sideshow.  It has cool pictures of the performers and descriptions of their acts.  Don’t be afraid to click Donny Vomit’s name.  His acts have nothing to do with puking and he’s actually pretty damn hot.  Anyway, have fun.  Be amazed.  Learn stuff.  Etc.

See you next week.

<3 calan

To make matters worse, Hector seemed to live in two places. He was either on the tank behind the toilet leering at you while you peed or he was in the linen closet peeking at you from the darkness. Both places were bad in my opinion, but at least in the linen closet I could throw a towel over his head and pretend I didn’t know what that menacing lump was.

Hector continued to freak me out well into my teens. My girlfriend and I named him Hector at some point perhaps to humanize him and make him less freaky. When I was alone I would talk to him in an attempt to fool him into thinking he didn’t scare me. I pretended I was all cool with his existence and we were pals, but all the while my heart was racing. I’m not sure whatever happened to him but at some point he just seemed to disappear. I have to admit I sort of miss him. At the very least, having his photo would be nice. I hunted all over the internet for something that resembled him, but I guess whoever else had a Hector in their life chose to destroy it rather than take it’s photo and see how much it would fetch on eBay.
Hector isn’t what inspired the comic today. Actually, drawing the comic brought him back in to consciousness. What inspired me was last night, Jim and I were googling old carnival posters to get some ideas for his website. There is some really fantastic creepy art work on those things. Maybe it also came from the fact I’m just finishing up the first season of HBO’s Carnivale. Believe it or not, I’ve never watched it until now. Anyway, I have carnivals and circuses on the brain, so you get clowns and a circus haiku.
Here’s some cool sideshow posters.
<3 calan

I’ve been pretty low key this week. No great adventures to share. I would, however, like to recommend a local event to my readers in the Tampa Bay area that I’ll be attending on Saturday night at the Cuban Club called Sensory Overload. It’s jam packed with live music, visual art exhibitions and performance art. It’s just 10 bucks to get in, unless you want access to the rum festival too, in which case it’s $35. I was checking out an overview of the artists who’ll be featured and saw a lot of stuff that excited me. I doubt you’ll find a cooler place to be between 9pm and 1 am on Saturday, so why not check it out? Come say hello if you think you recognize me. I’ll be sure to pretend I’m someone else!

<3 calan

The experience got me thinking about scabs and imagining forming one in the shape of the Mona Lisa or the Virgin Mother and selling it on ebay for a zillion dollars. I also wondered why you never see Vampires eating scabs. I think it would be a great on the go option, sort of like blood jerky. Jim pointed out how handy this would be camping or traveling in low populated areas. Anyway, I had about a dozen comic concepts based on scabs but couldn’t gross you out for more than a week in good conscience, so I went with this one.

Feel free to share haikus or other uses and cool things about scabs if you feel inclined. For added fun, can you name the type of dog GingerDead’s scab resembles?
Before I go, I want to share a method / genre of poetry a friend of mine is doing which he calls ‘Newsprint Prose“. Just hit that page and click the titles to view the poems which are read in the same fashion of a newspaper. His technique is to take an article and just cross out most of the words serial killer style until what’s left is a kick ass poem. It’s as if the poem was there all along waiting for him to unleash it. I love that he scans the actual article in, complete with marker cross-outs rather than retype the poem along. It makes reading it even more interesting and visually strange. I think it’s a great approach and hope he keeps going. I would buy a book of these in a heartbeat.

See you next week.

<3 calan

Garfield is something I read for a short period as a kid and quickly lost interest in. The other night a friend urged me to read something called Garfield Minus Garfield and it took some prodding because the word Garfield was enough to make me think I’d be bored silly. I finally looked and have to say it’s some of the funniest stuff I’ve seen in a long time. It’s simply Garfield comics where Garfield’s body and words are removed and what’s left is John’s pathetic, lonely existence. Without Garfield there is a wonderful sense of insanity and desperation. The empty panels only made me laugh harder. I’m not sure if it’s something everyone will ‘get’ but if you do, you’ll thank me for the lulz.

Next one up, I’m kind of jealous of as I’ve been thinking about starting a greeting card line and am in the process of looking at the best methods for printing and so on. It’s something I’m excited about doing, but practically gave up after reading these. I couldn’t come close to this sort of blunt, random, brilliance. Check out someecards.com and you’ll see what I mean.

Before I run off, I should tell you that steak and kidney pie is an actual dish served primarily in the UK and yes it has kidneys in it, usually from a lamb or pig. I realized after doing the comic that a lot of my readers might have no clue what it is but it I don’t think it matters to appreciate the comic. I blame my confusion on my worldly wanderings. Sometimes I forget what is common knowledge or relevant in a particular country and what is not. But, you know, I think I sort of like that about myself.
Have a great week.
<3 calan

We did get some time away from the set and explored Little Havana which had some incredibly inexpensive tasty Cuban nosh. I highly recommend Exquisito if you are ever in the area. The specials are like 6 bucks, home cooked and portioned in disgustingly indulgent portions. The cafe con leche practically everywhere in Little Havana is divine. I am actually craving it as I type this.  Also, make sure to bring a bat.  No, not because the area is dangerous, but so you can bludgeon giant fiberglass painted roosters.  Apparently, they were installed in the area for tourism purposes, but the drug dealers suspected cameras were installed in their eyes and took to smashing and tearing the roosters to bits.  I guess eventually the rumor was squelched though, because i saw about 6 or 7 of the things in tact.

We also wandered around South Beach which had some cool shops, 99% of which are way over-priced. Boo!Hiss! We passed by Miami Ink’s new digs: Love Hate and gawked for about 5 seconds through the window just because you have to. It was kinda neat since I watch the show occasionally.

Later, we learned that Love Hate is also bar/lounge (different location). We headed over to check it out and Jim actually ended up jamming with singer/songwriter Jesse Jackson who was performing that night. I really liked the place. It’s not all pretentious like a lot of Miami nightlife. It’s small, a nice little venue for live music and they make good drinks at reasonable prices. Plus, the tatoo decor on the bar and walls was fun to take pics of. Wee!

After just under a week of sleeping in the back of an SUV or on the floor of a warehouse, (thanks Joe!), we were pretty damn wrecked but upon returning to St. Pete Jim had a gig at an art opening for metal sculpture artist Paul Eppling.  Eppling does amazing work so I dragged my tired butt over and checked it out.  What an incredible imagination and amount of foresight Eppling has.  He uses a lot of scrap metal in his work and found objects to create wonderful creatures, animals and foliage.  I don’t know how he does it but I’m glad he does and i was able to see so many pieces up close.

That’s all for now.  See you next week.

<3 calan