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even monsters have limits

Wednesday, September 15th, 2010

What if driving a monster away didn’t involve complicated incantations or great feats of bravery? Maybe your lack of interest could be so frustrating, that it would cause a demon to return to Hell. What if you were such an annoying roommate that a ghost would rather go into the light than haunt your house? I was playing this little game of what ifs after a sleepless night thanks to a rather annoying talking cat and so this week’s comic was born.

Perhaps I found a good way to quell the fears of little ones who dread darkness? I imagine telling them that they snore reallllly loud…so loud that it scares the monsters and ghosts away, might be a great way to get a kid to hurry up and go to sleep! I don’t have any so I’ll have to leave it to one of my readers to try out. Let me know how it works.

That just got me thinking…Don’t you just love the white lies parents tell us. It would be awesome to start one of our own. They are sort of like urban legends for toddlers. My mom told me she had eyes in the back of her head. She sure seemed to, so I totally believed it, even though when I looked for them I couldn’t find them. My friend’s mom used to tell us if we swallowed pits a tree would grow in our stomachs. Let’s see what else…oh that all the nutrition was in the crust of the bread. What a load of crap! Oh, I’m sure there are just oodles of them!

I’d love to hear some of the lies you grew up with. Not the heartbreaking kind like ‘I’m going to quit drinking’ but the wacky stuff that was supposed to be for your own good. Do you remember when you realized that what they were lying? How did it make you feel? Personally, I don’t recall when I realized my mom did not, in fact, have eyes in the back of her head. She’s a little spooky to be honest so in a metaphorical way, I still think she actually might! Anyway, if you can recall any, please share. It doesn’t have to be in haiku form. I’m just genuinely curious and who know, it might inspire future art or comics.

Speaking of art, I’m going crazy trying to get ready for October. I’ll be in a few big shows (tba) and have to make an insane amount of jewelry, print cards and sculpt dolls and finger puppets. Oh, plus there’s a painting or two…eek! I only have a couple of weeks left to prepare! I’m working mad hours and at times straining the hell out of my wrist/arm where you already know I have trouble so if I miss another week or two, bear with me. The madness will end early October.

If you haven’t checked my art blog lately, I did release the new series of art doll inspired jewelry. I did some voodoo love doll pendants and designed a skeleton pendant seriess too. A few of each of these are available in my etsy store. I’m nearly done with an earring design and am working out some really cool skull head pendants and ring designs so stay tuned.

Before I go, here’s a fantastic VERY short horror film by Drew Daywalt about the monsters that lurk under our beds. This is one of my favorites:


And don’t miss his brand new release Doppelganger:


If you love Daywalt’s horror, please consider donating as little as a buck or as much as you can to his NAKED project. Naked is a full length fantasy horror film that is a total labor of love and will be produced by us fans. Mad Men’s Edin Gali just joined the cast. Visit IndieGOGO to learn more and donate. Your name can be in the special thanks credits for $10 or for $20 you can sort of pre-order the dvd AND be in the credits and so on. This is a great way to say F U to Hollywood and get a film made that you actually want to see. If you can only afford a dollar, I swear that will be appreciated too so please contribute. I feel like we are part of a revolution of sorts! 😀

That’s all for now. See you soon!

<3 Calan

20 Responses to “even monsters have limits”

  1. Darlene Says:

    I hope that your wrist/arm is feeling a little bit better and that your art shows go well! I think the best one my mom every told me was the the bread crust makes your hair darker because i never did like having blonde hair but it never got any dark *sigh*. I’ve been meaning to send you a pic of some of the art that i have been doing but i always keep forgetting. its no were near as cool as yours it mostly roses. It seems like the only thing that i can draw are roses and crosses. o well maybe i”lll get to were i can do some different things.

  2. Chance Says:

    Talking cat?

  3. calan Says:

    hey darlene 🙂 i never heard that one before! that’s pretty funny and completely bonkers. yay! keep drawing…and you should totally challenge yourself to draw something out of your comfort zone. turnoff the ‘critical parent’ that likes to pass judgment on your drawing and just allow yourself to experiment with something new. if you like flowers, maybe try another kind. you have the makings of a nice funeral with your crosses and roses, maybe add a lily in the mix. 😀

    chance – yeah. she thinks random things like a piece of string or ragged cat toy are like her children or something and has these really loud ‘conversations’. it’s super duper annoying. i think she does it when she is lonely (ie: the lights are out and everyone is off to bed).

  4. Jim Says:

    6 years old – The Easter bunny hides the eggs in everyones yards early in the morning. I imagined a humongous rabbit sporting a sequin vest and a permagrin sneaking through my yard at 4am. Kinda weird, but it sounded like fun!  

    Sometimes you have to yell at the monsters too, huh? Got it!  

    Put a sock in it Ruffles!

    Support Drew Daywalt!

  5. calan ree Says:

    Jim – knowing you grew up in FL, i’m wondering why on earth the Easter Bunny would leave them outside?! in NY he had the good sense to come in and leave them around the house and it isn’t even hot there in April. Maybe he’s trying to kill you through salmonella?

  6. Seraphine Says:

    my mother told me i was her favorite daughter. she told me not to tell that to anyone else. it was to be our secret.
    well, of course, after my mother died three years ago, i told my sister what mom had said, and she confessed that mom told her *she* was the favorite. we had a good laugh over that.
    i still think, though, that i was her favorite…

    you’re my favorite,
    she said to ‘nigh everyone;
    it was her secret.

  7. cooliocooliest Says:

    Don’t swallow your gum!
    If you do, your heart will be
    deformed, crooked, bent.

    “But Mom.” Said I, with
    a terrified cry, “It was
    just an accident!”

    And I cried for about an hour until she hugged me and said it wasn’t true. I was so scared I’d die or something. xD

  8. amanda Says:

    My grandparents raised me and they used to tell us kids that if we made funny faces theyd get stuck that way. thats a really common one though. Or how bout if you tell a lie it’ll come back and haunt you. I used to imagine these ghostly lies waking me up in the middle of the night. Or the pinnoccio situation where your nose would grow. And other kids would always tell us step on a crack break your moms back. Even to this day i try to avoid cracks. silly super superstisious stuff.

    Super silliness
    to tell kids their face will stick
    if you strike a pose

  9. amanda Says:

    Oooh i remembered another one just after i posted this when we used to pout and stick out our lower lips my grandmother used to tell me if you keep it stuck out like that a little bird will come and poop on it. I used to wonder why a bird would wanna poop on my lip cause i was pouting.

  10. Karen Says:

    If you make that face
    it just might stick forever:
    tried it, didn’t work.

    Stay quiet and sleep
    or they’ll come take you away:
    still can’t sleep, still here.

    Dinosaurs just eat
    kids who don’t eat their veggies:
    no raptors here yet.

    Having sex kills you
    in terribly painful ways:
    hasn’t happened yet.

    Yeah … my mom was big on saying whatever it took to get us to shut the hell up.

  11. calan Says:

    thank you all for sharing! i love these. some are funny and some are kinda crazy and a little mean, just like fairy tales!

    amanda – the little pooping bird cracks me up. never heard that before

  12. Anne V. Says:

    When I was six my turtle died and I was quite upset…we had a little ceremony and burial and mom said that Joe (still remember his name) had gone to turtle heaven; I’m not sure that’s a lie, though-but it was very comforting.

    joe was very sweet
    loads of personality
    wore his shell quite well

  13. CyberCraft Robots Says:

    Uncle Jim has moved
    We will still have a man here
    Meet your Uncle George

  14. Monkeybones Says:

    Your imagination
    is running away with shadows
    on the bedroom wall.

    We are scientists
    in this family, so sleep.
    Good night and God bless

    I feel a little bit deprived of monsters under the bed, but if I have a nightmare, I still curl myself into a defensive ball, because everyone knows they can’t get you if you’re under the covers. This haiku is about my grandad, who never believed in monsters.

  15. calan ree Says:

    Monkeybones – that is one of the most beautiful haiku i’ve received here. thanks for sharing!

  16. matthew Says:

    Really nice Haiku Monkeybones.

    I made it back to the land of the living….almost. I will soon be quit of this job and i can live again and surf the net and have friends. I cannot wait till the 30th. For now i am still working so no time to think up a haiku. I just wanted to share this really odd one my friend told me the other day his mom used to tell him. “If you don’t keep the hood of your jacket up in the fog your hair will fall out.” I laughed pretty hard at that one when he told me. My own mother used the typical ones like the fruit seed growing in your stomach and the face sticking in place. I’m sure there was one that wasn’t typical but i cannot remember much from when i was a child so i will never know.

  17. calan Says:

    welcome back matt! bald inducing fog, huh? love it!

    sorry i’m not here again this week with a comic. tooth pain for days. horrible! tomorrow i get root canal. sooo skeered!

  18. Matthew Says:

    The root canal is nothing, what sucks is watching your now gutted tooth slowly turn darker as it dies off. This can take a long time if you take care of it properly but its inevitable. I honestly don’t know what all the fuss is over root canals as far as pain goes. Mine was pretty much painless.

  19. calan Says:

    yay that’s good to hear. i leave in a half hour. i am mostly dreading the shots to numb it. last time i went they were excruciating, but my tooth has been in waves of intense pain for two and half days now, so i’m ready to just get this crap over with!

  20. amanda Says:

    yea i have had 2 root canals and my wisdom teeth yanked. and matt is right they do eventually die off i need to go get mine pulled cause the black teeth is unattractive

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