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willpower is overrated

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

Since Thursday is my birthday, I thought we should have some cake around here. I stole these images from Cake Wrecks, a website that celebrates the untalented, the screw-ups, the clueless and the creepy of cake baking. It’s a lot like Regresty only with icing and not as snarky and disturbing..so maybe not quite as awesome, but awesome nonetheless. Okay, grab a fork…

Birth is always a good place to start. Dig in to this beauty!

Maybe the birthing process makes you a little queasy? Try this one instead. I can’t decide if the cake is eating the baby or the baby is hatching from the cake. Whatever. Cake is cake, right?


Still too birth-y for you? How about we skip the process and dig right in to the baby! Oooh, my mouth just watered a little.


I’m sorry. Is that too weird? I guess even pretend-babies are too precious to eat. Okay, how about a over-medicated, semi-conscious adult covered in…um…poo?


No? Okay, i give up. Find your own tasty Cake Wreck.

By the way, I wont be here next week. Tomorrow I’m off to the Postcard Inn for a night on the beach with my darlin’. (Thanks Mom!) Then next week, Jim and I are going tubing/snorkeling in Rainbow River. We found a lil B&B nearby and are taking off for a couple of days. Hooray for adventure. We had planned this out and then my Mom surprised me with the Postcard Inn so I’m ending up with 2 micro vacations. I’m beyond grateful for the time off and away, but also know it’s unlikely I’ll get time to create a comic next week. Rather than stress, I’m just taking next week off. So there!

<3 calan

22 Responses to “willpower is overrated”

  1. Jim Says:

    Only 10 pounds, huh?
    I would’ve thunk it was more…
    Did someone say cake?

  2. Jennifer Zoellner Says:

    Happy Birthday Dear
    May your cake be sweet and yum
    Enjoy vacation

  3. Melisa Taylor Says:

    OH my, those are some effed up cakes!
    the haiku, however, is awesome! 🙂

  4. Seraphine Says:

    i’ve lost my head, yes
    ten pounds lost in exchange for
    love and silliness

    swallowing my heart
    to keep it where it belongs
    in center chest, wild

    it wants to escape,
    my heart, through the shoulder hole
    where once my head sat

    (of course people point
    look ma! that girl has no head!)
    i hunch my shoulders

    and swallow, gulping
    for air– this battle is lost:
    nine ounces of heart

    flops onto the ground
    alternating jumps and hops
    chasing after you

    my head, my heart, you
    nothing is mine anymore
    rail thin and empty

  5. Seraphine Says:

    enough morbidity! happy birthday calan!
    may everything you lose come back ten-fold.

  6. calan Says:

    beautiful haiku-a-thon Sera!

    thanks everyone for the happy bday wishes. if i get a bday wish it will be that my cake doesn’t visually nauseate me. i’ve been saving calories for some serious death by chocolate action.

  7. Amanda Says:

    Be sure to apply plenty of sunscreen when you’re at rainbow river the last time i went i got 2nd and 3rd degree burns and sun poisoning because we left the lotion in the car for our 6 hour trip down river. Happy birthday i hope things go swimmingly yes i punned gah i hope its not contagious.

  8. Gabe Says:

    set feasible goals
    do not hurry the fat loss
    carve some off daily

  9. calan Says:

    yikes amanda. thanks i planned on taking some, especially for jim but all i have is the light spf15 in a spray. i think i better get something stronger and waterproof. i can’t believe how long this tubing trip down the river takes. i hope it’s fun!

    Gabe – carving off slices of myself just makes me hungry and i’m pretty sure even those calories count.

  10. Amanda Says:

    I’ve gone twice its so much fun. If you can avoid the sun burn that follows. Just be sure when you go dont pack anything that can be considered trash there are no trash cans on the side of the river and you can get some seriously heavy fines from the parks department if you are caught with anything that you can throw away. Littering is a big issue for them.

  11. Patrick Michael Says:

    Best Birthday wishes!
    With rolling heads and bodies
    Covered in some poo???

    Verily I could be.
    Axe and cake baby in hand,
    Carnivorous Me!

    Enjoyment is
    A brief respite from the day
    Here at gingerdead.

    Thank you and Happy Birthday

  12. Ted Says:

    Smoked baby-back ribs
    A Delicious midnight snack
    Discount childcare nights

  13. calan Says:

    hooray for all the haiku’n

    Amanda – i’m wondering how to bring drinks in that case. i’m thinking a bottle of water or two might be needed to make it for 4 – 6 hours. maybe i can tie a little snorkeling bag with water bottles to my tube. idk. i guess we’ll figure it out once we get there.

  14. Amanda Says:

    We ended up getting a water cooler like one that you fill with ice and bottled water and bringing plastic thermoses *hard to pluralize a word idk how to spell* you can get them in camping supplies at walmart or other stores.

  15. Lynda Says:

    Happy happy weekend after your birthday! I’m going to try that diet tip after I imbibe cakes for you!


  16. Lynda Says:

    Those were supposed to be hearts.

    <3 <3 <3

  17. matthew Says:

    Happy spawning day!!
    Sentiment heartfelt though late
    Joy and love to you

    You found the best images on that site. I love the baby ones. Fairly creepy and yet amusing. Hope your trip went well.

    I hunger for you
    my love formed in consumption
    maybe just a bite?

  18. Seraphine Says:

    with cocoa butter
    nice cooked healthy salted skin
    sprinkled on noodles

    i call dibbs on all
    the burnt skin that peels off from
    calan’s rafting trip.

  19. justme Says:

    Sera, you make that sound disturbingly… appetizing.

    adorable cakes
    shaped like babies encourage

    as does a paean
    to sun-baked delicacies

    Vendetta’s new book,
    “Decapitation Diet,”
    is a best-seller

  20. Ted Says:

    I love your last haiku on Vendetta’s new book justme – nice one, haha

  21. Seraphine Says:

    anything with “diet” in it will sell. with decapitation in the title, it’s almost a guaranteed best-seller. great one, justme.

    at the book signing
    pen mightier than the sword

  22. coraline Says:

    wow… stunning cakes…. i wouldve never thought tht theyd ever make something like tht….. but yea 🙂

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