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zero percent body fat

Wednesday, April 7th, 2010

Death might not look super cool, but I bet he feels way better when he gets out of that class. Don’t tell anyone but I take all sorts of classes at my gym that have me looking pretty silly. The truth is it’s kind of fun and really has helped me decompress a bit.

I promised to let you know how the camping adventure was so here goes. It was itchy. There were lots of bitey bugs that put a damper on any surroundings no matter how pretty. I enjoyed the hydrobikes on the river and a fire is always cool but I’m definitely no longer hurtin’ for some yurtin’. One night was enough.

Here’s the ‘yurt’ where we slept:


Jim and I got the platform bed because we’re in love and stuff and everyone else slept on the floor around us. All through the night that bed was shaking and not for the sexy reason you think. It felt like someone was kicking the bed but no one was anywhere near it. I’m sure there is a scientific reason that has to do with the bed being secured to a structure that is basically on stilts, but I don’t know what it is. All I know is the yurt felt solid but the bed itself would shake violently every 5 or 10 minutes. This, along with intensely itchy bites made sleeping difficult. It sort of spooked me out. To add to the atmosphere it rained heavily and some sort of animal (i think) was plucking at a locked metal door over and over and over. You’d think the storm would have kept the raccoons away, but i guess not.

This little guy braved the storm and settled inside a tiny pool of wine at the bottom of a glass. I found him as I was cleaning up in the morning and thought he had absorbed enough Pinot Noir so I sent him on his way. He just sat there and stared at me. I think I may have heard him curse me under his breath but I was sleep deprived so I could have been hallucinating.


The good news is my friends have ticks and I don’t. Oh, maybe that’s bad news. Whatevs!

See you next week!

<3 calan

15 Responses to “zero percent body fat”

  1. Andrea Says:

    Have you read any of Sir Terry Pratchett’s DiscWorld books? I think you would very much like his DEATH characterization.

  2. Tara Says:

    sigh i miss camping due to broke-ness, a-hole parents and school i haven’t gone in ages D: I can’t wait for this sumer vaca.

  3. Darlene Says:

    so agree with u tara school is a drag. anyway cute little frog and i think he mite have curesed you. seriously who wants 2 b taken out of a wine glass?

  4. Seraphine Says:

    i can’t decide which i’d like worse, sleeping in a yurt or sleeping in a glass of pinot. although initially pleasureable-sounding, the glass of wine would become unbearable as soon as i realized i would have to pee, and there is no way to climb out of the glass. the yurt, on the other hand, is…well… a yurt on stilts with bugs. can i sleep in the car?

    those tummy crunches
    just makes the food look better
    for bugs who eat you

  5. Ptrick Says:

    I have to agree with Andrea about the Discworld version. I would say aerobics seems to suit Death, and is it me or is Death looking a bit more trim???

  6. calan Says:

    i’m not familiar with the Discworld series. I’ll have to check it out.

    seraphine – i’ll share the car with you if you don’t mind.

    you wouldn’t believe it after reading my post but i actually camped across the United States once. it was definitely wimpy camping as far as there not being any hiking involved and there being pools, game rooms and nice big showers and toilets (i stayed primarily at KOA ‘kampgrounds) on the grounds, but still I did sleep in a tent for the duration of trip which took about 3 weeks (NY to Canada down Memphis and then across to California and back). Maybe I’m just becoming a wuss as I get a little older.

  7. Anne Van Atta Says:

    on the way back from the Ecolution fest in downtown tampa, Jim told me y’all were going to stay in a yurt….camping for me always involves bitey things and discomfort; we used to do it often when I was a kid (we had a ’71 VW pop-top Campmobile) and the best experience I ever had was when we visited DC and stayed at a campground in Maryland–we got up supa-early and drove down Pennsylvania Avenue but could not find a place to park; my dad asked a cop and he told him to park in a diplomatic spot directly adjacent to the Capitol…”won’t we get towed?” ‘No way; I’ll be here all day and if you’re not back when we have a shift change I’ll tell ’em..” So dad parked the van and this dear cop grandly stopped traffic on Pennsylvania Avenue for us to cross…we felt like royalty….breakfast in the USDA cafeteria, Smithsonian, walking up the Capitol steps (can’t do that anymore…) Thanks, Calan for bringing my mind to this good place…

    I’ve been getting back into yoga and it’s helping my mood immeasurably…

    Sleeping in a yurt
    Sounds a little challenging
    Ghosts shaking the bed?

    Lovely memories
    of the us capitol
    whatta righteous cop

  8. Adam_Y Says:

    For some reason that Yurt reminds me of Baba Yaga’s house, just with stilts instead of chicken legs.

    Still, camping with style! And supporting the alcoholic wildlife. Really, a classy charity mission.

  9. calan ree Says:

    Anne – i’m glad happy memories were stirred! i get a little impatient with yoga classes…which i guess defeats the whole point. but i totally love pilates and take a class or two every week along with other stuff. getting this membership enables me to take a bunch of classes whenever i feel like it and has been one of the best things i’ve ever done. less grinding of teeth and stressing out over too many projects and too little time. 🙂

    Adam – how did i miss the Baba Yaga comparison! You are so right. that makes that yurt 10 billion times cooler… but still buggy.

  10. Seraphine Says:

    traveling and camping across country sounds awesome. i would love to do that someday. i thought it would be awesome to travel across canada by train, but then i noticed it costs about $2,000 to do that. for that much money, i could fly to new zealand and camp out and spend a north american winter in the sun. i would love to do that someday too.

  11. Chuck H. Says:

    Very nice haiku

  12. Dylan Says:

    Death hates exercise.
    The ad just hit his weakness:
    “Join for free smoothies!’

  13. matthew Says:

    I have been working out for the same reasons lately. But i have been getting taught kickboxing and mixed martial arts as my outlet hehe. Punching and kicking things for hours on end really takes care of all that pent up frustration. Love it. I go camping a lot myself during the summer and try to stay clear of the areas that have too many insects. You can’t avoid them completely but you can try. I love sitting under the stars at night. And of course the drinking and having a good time with friends. I rarely have a bad time doing it. As to the bed..did anyone else feel the shaking? If not then i may have to ask what extra substances may have been involved 🙂

    Scything mortals down..
    what kind of stress can death have?
    It would be a blast!

    Ticks and mosquito’s.
    A bed only a half dead
    saint could sleep sound in.

    The quiet broken
    by a furry would be thief.
    The joys of camping!

  14. calan ree Says:

    haha matt 😛 actually jim woke up from the mysterious shaking so it was real. i’m really sure it has something to do with the structure but at 4 am with no sleep it started to freak me out. oh and kicking and punching stuff sounds fantastic! i used to take kenpo…about a zillion years ago. nowadays i’m a skeerdy kat when it comes to my wrists. i kinda need them!

  15. coraline Says:

    haha i wonder what was shaking it… but anyways yea death is kinda kool…. ive only been camping twice but a grizzly bear attaced the trash next to our tents…. it scared me

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